Vote for Boris. He's the dog's bollacks!

Vote for my dog, Boris. He'll take no money from big business for favors. Boris is averse to telling lies about oil rich countries so that you'll think it's really nice to bomb and occupy them. He definitely won't sink to making a spectacle of himself trying to win over his audience with an affected loud Southern or redneck voice. He won't even pretend to hunt - he doesn't look good in camo. Which reminds me, Boris is also no war hero. He was never able to seek glory for getting shot down and captured while trying to kill poor people by bravely bombing them from miles above. Neither will our Boris distance himself from the remarks of his spiritual leader. After all, if he did he would lose out on all the treats handed out by her at the coven. Now Boris would like to lead a two legged people's movement that desires to share the world's resources, rather than create wars over them. Oviously, some extremely rich and powerful people and organizations might not like Boris' ideas, but you know he can do without their pats and treats. He thinks its also a cool idea to pay workers enough so that they can live without worrying about basics, such as food - and getting to work the following week. A minimum wage of $15 an hour would be fine for now. It's a fraction of what John Edwards pays for a haircut, what Hillary received working for WalMart, what Obama received for meeting with Venezuela's corrupt opposition "leader," and what John- oh, he's such a maverick- McCain spends on Depends. Also, now here's the radical bit, he thinks it's not too much ask for working people to have the same high standard of health care as that provided to the politicians the people voted into Congress. In fact, Boris claims some of our taxes could be directed to a universal health care plan. That way, even the insurance companies could also benefit. No longer would they have to spend their precious time trying to buy off politicians. They could just focus on getting you paid out for that dreaded fender bender, while 46 million Americans would start to receive the same standard of health care as Mr. McCain, Mrs. Clinton, and Mr. Obama. So vote for Boris because you know all the rest is propaganda.

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The question on everybody's

The question on everybody's lips: Is Boris actively seeking a running mate?

Boris proposes to work for

Boris proposes to work for no more than the average wage of a skilled worker if elected. Any excess income will be funneled to grassroots campaigns. The campaigns for a $15 an hour minimum wage and universal health care for all Americans will receive the bulk of the massive surplus income.

Boris says big business owns

Boris says big business owns two parties, now workers need their own. Hillary, Obuma, and McDepends apparently respond with anger. They claim they know what life is really like for workers because they all talk with labor union leaders around election time. Boris says the candidates particularly appreciate labor's help with campaign funds. In fact, even he used to think union dues were only being spent by labor bosses on their expensive suits and big offices. Boris declares, they should have to come back to the workplace as soon as they forget whose dues they are playing with.

Boris visits Canada on a

Boris visits Canada on a health care fact finding mission. People magazine claims he has also spent time in a by the hour motel with a Yukon husky bitch. The husky, according to the magazine, was later observed hurriedly entering a dry cleaners. Boris refutes the magazine's assertions, claiming them to be nothing more than part of a smear campaign organized by the corporate run candidates. However, Boris sends his supporters into a temporary tailspin with his off the cuff remark about clarifying the definitions of is.

Boris and Lassie 08-the

Boris and Lassie 08-the dream ticket.

Boris declares the need for

Boris declares the need for a workers' party in the United States. He strongly argues that, unlike the Democratic Party, which is actually craftier at hiding its ties to anti-worker corporate elites than the Republicans, a workers' party organized by and for working Americans would address the massive inequalities in wealth, lack of universal health care, and a criminally low minimum wage.

Boris proposes to work for

Boris proposes to work for no more than the average wage of a skilled worker if elected. Any excess income will be funneled to grassroots campaigns. The campaigns for a $15 an hour minimum wage and universal health care for all Americans will receive the bulk of the massive surplus income.

Boris and Lassie 08-the

Boris and Lassie 08-the dream ticket.

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